"It’s your right as a parent": digital parenting advice from an ex-undercover detective

Do teenagers deserve privacy online? A former cybercrimes detective shares his view.

Parents are often hesitant to monitor what their teens are doing online. "Isn't it like reading a private diary?" they wonder. "Not in the least," maintains cyber expert and ex-undercover detective Brett Lee. 

"Knowing who your kids are speaking to online is your right as a parent," Lee insists. "You don’t let them go out without knowing where they’re going and who they’re hanging out with, so why is the online world any different to the real world?"

After 20 years' experience in the cyber-crimes division of the Queensland police, Lee knows with chilling accuracy what he's talking about. He's been directly involved in the investigation and prosecution of hundreds of online predators in Australia and abroad, and has done work for both the FBI and the US Department of Homeland Security.

Among other assignments, Lee spent five years as an undercover detective, posting under fictitious identities to nab predators and creators/distributors of child exploitation material.

"Teens will say they deserve privacy online, that who they’re talking to or what they’re doing is their business," Lee explains. "This is rubbish. You as their parent have every right to know who they’re talking to and what they’re doing."

privacy gif.gifPrivacy on the internet and privacy in the real world are two very different things, Brett Lee explains. 

But what about the trust issue? Doesn't monitoring their online activity send the message that parents lack confidence in their teens' judgment?

"It’s not about not trusting your kids. It's about not trusting everyone else on the internet," Lee responds. "From my experience, it’s not the kids we cannot trust, because most kids trust their gut and make good choices. But these criminals are incredibly manipulative, and many are extremely tech savvy - which means they’re even better at tricking our kids."

Lee recommends taking an active approach to cyber safety in the home. "Set clear rules and boundaries. Starting these when they’re young helps, but it’s never too late to start," he advises. 

"We know kids thrive on boundaries in the real world and the same applies to the online world. Parental controls provide those boundaries."

And the most important boundary? Simply switching the internet off on teen's devices at bedtime. "With that one action,  you are dramatically reducing their risk of being contacted or groomed by a predator."

Brett Lee's advice for protecting your kids online …

1. Set clear rules and boundaries.

2. Block the internet at bed time.

3. Install parental controls.

Parenting in the digital age can be a challenge, but Family Zone can help.  Our team of Cyber Experts, including Brett Lee, are here to support parents with advice and customised control settings to use with Family Zone.

Family Zone is a way to automate the boundaries you decide are appropriate - including when your kids can access use the internet and what apps and websites they can view.

Start your free trial

Topics: Parental Controls, Mobile Apps, Cyber Safety, teen safety, cybercrimes

    Try Family Zone for FREE

    Sign up now to try Family Zone for 1 month, totally free of charge.

    Free Trial
    Subscribe to our newsletter
    Follow us on social media
    Popular posts
    Parental Controls | Mobile Apps | Cyber Safety | teens on social media
    Can we talk? 100 questions your teen might actually answer
    Parental Controls | Screen time | youtube | smartphones | WhatsApp | suicide | self-harm | momo
    MOMO unmasked
    Parental Controls | Cyber Safety | Cyber Experts | parenting | roblox
    Roblox: What parents need to know about this popular gaming platform
    Parental Controls | Cyber Safety | tinder | Cyber Experts | parenting | yellow
    Yellow: The Tinder for Teens
    Parental Controls | Social Media | privacy | decoy app
    Hide It Pro: A decoy app to look out for
    Cyber Bullying | Parental Controls | Screen time | Mobile Apps | Cyber Safety | online predators | tiktok | paedophile | child predator | Likee
    LIKEE: What parents need to know about this risky TikTok wannabe

    Recent posts

     
    Press the reset button on your kid’s online routine

    COVID blew up our teens’ screen-time. It’s time to get them back on track. In the wake of the COVID pandemic, our children are facing a ...

     
    Bigger families face super-sized screen-time challenges

    If you have more than one child - and statistics show 86 percent of families do - then managing screen-time can be double trouble. Or ...

     
    'Bigorexia' a growing risk for today's boys

    We’re starting to understand how social media can damage girls’ self-esteem - but what about our boys? New research finds disturbing ...

     
    The metaverse: Brave new world - or an upgrade for predators?

    Mixing kids and adult strangers in a self-moderated online environment ... What could possibly go wrong?